TRUE STORY

JUST NOW.

My best friend just pointed to the little bookmark on my internet thing and said, "Tuna Fish and Pickles!"

And laughed.

And then I laughed. "That's my blog. I haven't posted anything for like, a year."


LITERALLY. I LITERALLY HAVEN'T POSTED IN LITERALLY A YEAR. LITERALLY.

L I T E R A L L Y.

I don't think you understand what the odds of this happening are. In 20 minutes, it will no longer be literally a year.

oh my words.

THESE ARE A FEW OF MY FAVORITE THINGS AND SOME THINGS THAT AREN'T MY FAVORITE THINGS TOO

FAVORITE THINGS

• The word 'salad'
• Sister Act
• Short nails
• Black socks

I think it's important to go ahead and stop there because my eyes glazed over and I started breathing abnormally deep and momentarily forgot that I was a person because

MY SISTER JUST TURNED ON SISTER ACT YOU GUYS

This was not planned.

I don't want to talk to you anymore.

You are dumb.

Whoopi Goldberg singing with nuns in a gospel choir is not.

FFFFFWHIP

The combination of those letters up there make the sound of me speeding into the other room

(like in cartoons when you look to see the person, but they took off and now the door that doesn't close all the way is swinging and there are papers rustling around and settling to the floor because they were so freaking fast and blew stuff around or something)

HOLY TOLEDO

I forgot I had a blog and find this to be mildly amusing.

I like it when I remember that I posted a whole bunch of things that came to my brain onto the Internet for anyone to skim through if they were to somehow stumble across this page. If you so happen to be one of those guy, "Hi there and hello. Welcome. I hope you enjoy my many thought provoking and inspiring posts."

(I literally have no idea what I have previously posted. I scrolled down and glanced at my post about how my chickens died and that was pretty much it. I am sad now.)

A lot has happened between my last post and this very moment that I am experiencing. This is not a nice thing for me to think about. I sorta feel overwhelmed and obligated to record anything and everything that has gone on because I don't write anything down. This is concerning to me. I don't know what to do. Oh, I feel anxious and want to lay on the floor.

I have recovered from my brief panic attack and am ready to continue.

I watched Inception tonight with my dad and my brains exploded. The first time I watched it, which was years ago, my brains exploded and I was upset and confused for quite some time.

WHAMMO!

Once again, my brains have exploded. History has repeated itself. (I totally said that cause of Harry Potter and the Camber of Secrets.) (Also, I am watching Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince.)

My behavior during Inception tonight is something that I am not proud of. I don't know how many times I plunged my sobbing face into a pillow and then squirmed around trying to get comfortable and regain my self control, but it happened more than seven times. I do not wish to reveal anything else on this subject.

I don't know if I liked it or not. It was one of those movies where I watched the credits roll at the end with my eyes all huge and my mouth hanging open while I try to wrap my brains around what just happened and where I am.
Does that happen to you, friendly and/or unfriendly reader? When you finish something emotionally exhausting and your brains have exploded... Do you forget everything that you know to be true?

CAUSE THIS LADY DOES.

"Where am I?"
"What time is it?"

"I'm freezing! Where's my jacket?"

"Who is sitting next to me?"

"How did everyone get out of the theater so fast?"

"Is it dark outside? It's only 2 o'clock, but is it dark out there?"
"Which way are we facing?"

"Did I drive or did you drive?"

"Where is my bag?"

"Where is my phone?"

"Have you seen my phone??"

"It's on silent and will be lost forever!"

"Why is my phone in my pocket? I never put it in my pocket."

"I'm serious where is my jacket?"

"I don't know who I am anymore."

"WHERE IS THE BATHROOM?!"

This is why I don't go to the movies much anymore. However, when I DO go to see a film I take someone who knows and loves me and can talk me back into reality.

OPPORTUNITY: You can take me to the movies.

ANOTHER THING: No you can't. That was a joke.

I can't even tell you how excited I am that I remembered that I have this blog.

"Congratulations! You Won!"

This dumb ad on Facebook and now my blog is constantly telling me that "I won."
But don't worry because, "this is not a joke."
Just 'click here' and I will retrieve my prize.
Well then what did I win?
It better be good.
And how come I'm the 100,000th visitor every two minutes? Is this possible? No. It's not. Because this is a scam and is ruining the fun of surfing the web.
So annoying.

I'm Just Not A Good Blogger, Ok?

Again, I have fallen off the blogging wagon.

(muffled sobs)

Good Mourning

(did you catch my title? good mourning)


Anyways.

My chickens have killed each other.  Out of five, there are only two left.

I'm concerned.
I'm sad.
I'm alarmed.
I'm depressed.
I'm angry.

I don't know why this is happening, but I don't like it.

"Manure Is Magnificent"

My mom just got this magazine so we can read up on how to raise a chicken properly.

Be still my heart.